Views from a BrewTown Sista (aka The Chronicles of Kayleah H. Madison)

I've been putting off writing my final blog of 2015 until the right time. Oh, hell. I guess there never really is a right time to review the last 12 months. At the start of the year, I was in the process of having my front teeth pulled in order to get some dentures to finally smile again. Now as the year closes, I'm back in an apartment for the first time in nearly five years! Of course, the icing on this year's cake was seeing a longtime dream come true by legally becoming Kayleah. That was also later followed up by seeing my gender changed on my driver's license, too! The motel days are OVER!!! I never thought that I would return to driving a taxicab in this forsaken dump of a town. The last time I had driven a cab here i got the heave-ho. That was in 2008 with a small rinky-dinky company. Seven years later, here I am with yet another rinky-dinky company, only this one has an owner with some broken English continuity. Alas, it has helped with obtaining some threads, m

https://youtu.be/-EslLA1OG0I

In the first 30-days since my legal name change to Kayleah H. Madison, I have downplayed the excitement of being a new person with a new identity and gender. I  go do my job driving a cab for a third-rate taxi company, conversate with the passengers, collect the dough, and eventually gas up. Obviously  I  do use the women's  restroom - and get the hell out of there before some cry baby overprotective  God- fearing parent expects the worst while I  am doing my business! My customers  do refer to me in the correct pronouns, like she, her, ma'am, and of course, a woman. Good. Makes me feel  better about myself. Every November  24 is usually a somber day for me. Those who've  read my older bogs knows what I'm  talking about. To those newcomers of my blog, that's the day my mother was called home. For many years I  blamed myself for saying the hurtful comments the very last time I  spoke to her. One Sunday a few years back, I got to sing the lead with my church choir si

So, on 10/7, I officially became Kayleah Hutchins Madison . WHOOPEE!!! Then, the celebration eventually wears off, and I  get back to driving that crappy taxicab until I  get a  new gig....and eventually, a new apartment. I just got my driver's  license  to fully show my new name ....and gender. I can't  say that many natural-born women speak with a low tone of voice or wear makeup on a daily basis. No, I'm not going to  start wearing pumos...my feet need to be comfortable when I roll! Nevertheless, I am now a legal woman....of trans decent, of course! The name and gender change is one of the pinnacles that I wanted to  accomplish  in 2015. Of course starting with my new set of teeth for my smile, then finding this cab gig after  being out of work for years, a return trip to the Chicago Pride Parade, and most recently, I am in the process of getting  something you  badly need in a town like this: a set of wheels. So it's  pretty ancient in today's  scene,but it ge

This coming Wednesday, October  7, 2015, one saga of my life will come to an end. On the other hand, something will finally become a reality. Being my seldom masculine self has been moderate at best. However, I knew I was different since childhood, and at times I couldn't help myseĺf being someone else. I have  mentioned this many times before in previous blogs. It's always nerve-wracking at first. Later on, it becomes a part of you. Then, you see yourself AS that person, and you don't want the old life you once had. This transition always came with a price; family, job, house, or even your  life. I took my chances abruptly relocating to the Rockford area from my beloved native Milwaukee in 1999; my family  basically  gave a damn and all but severed ties with me. Didn't even come home for my dad's  funeral in 2007. My choice. 17 years after first arriving here, I'm finally comfortable  with my feminine  identity. Next week, my name will officially  be changed t

I've been doing a lot of posting on Facebook in the last few months about what's been going on in my life this summer. Even taken a few pictures to show online as proof. However, this post here is my first commentary in almost two months. Something to keep me occupied while I still have time for a hobby. When you reside in a sleepy town with few close friends like I do, you need something that is worth time-consuming and a bit fun at the same time. So here it goes.... To those followers of my blog (name them), I've already installed three videos of my day at this year's Chicago Pride Parade. Yes, it was a wonderful time had by all who attended the annual LGBT gala, just days after the U.S. Supreme Court legalized gay marriage across this great land, to excited celebrations in the LGBT community...unless you are part of the religious conservative right. Here's the deal: I took over 300 pictures that day on my digital camera. So many it literally wore out the first

We're nearing the Memorial Day weekend, and one of my icons from tv is calling it a career this week....and I did get a job. That schedule's not set in stone. I'm going to have my eyes peeled the next several nights as David Letterman is saying goodbye after 33 years on tv. Hell, having no social life to the current thanks to all these nights watching Johnny and Dave. At least it's kept me safe from whatever shit's on the street. A part of my life is coming to a close and it's time to open a new chapter of my life...as Kayleah Madison. On this eve before Letterman's swan song, I'm constructing another blog that I'm sure no one will read unless I give them a link to this. To keep me company, I'm watching/listening to Chicken Run on Netflix. Thanks to this, I am now up to date on both seasons of Orange Is The New Black . So many movies to catch up on, so many reasons to giveth a shit.  Back in 2012, around my 42nd birthday, I never actually s

They say time is a healer. Or maybe a cruel joke. Maybe it's (in my opinion) the only true enemy in this entire world. No matter how you look at it, time is one things that actually never dies. We humans will only be here for so long; time will keep on movin' on. What the purpose of that is an anniversary has apparently passed me up. A sad one at that, too.  April 1995. I'm still at Dillard University in New Orleans. Got to come see my grandma during the Easter break and work on a class assignment about my family heritage. I spent almost an entire day looking up some info on what kinfolk do I have before my grandparents. Let me tell you something-if I was a white person, this task would be a breeze. Go to the records department at the county clerk's office, there ya go. Doesn't always work that way, especially for black folks like us? When you have grandparents that resided in the pre-Jim Crow South, chances of finding accurate records of your family's namesa

shit. this is THE song I play when I feel like crawling into a hole...don't feel any better afterwards.

Going through some past facebook postings here. When I mention an anniversary in my life, i'd want to make sure I remember the actual date. Take the moment my life changed forever during the month of April 1998 back in Milwaukee. To this day I can only know that it happened on a Tuesday. I paid $75 for a dominatrix to transform me into something beautiful. Shame that person wanted nothing to do with me after that. Do I remember the actual DATE of this re-creation? Not really. I went to see some old calendars to locate when that moment actually happened, but since it's my history, I can always make up the date and pass the knowledge unto you. You're still reading this blog, so I am assuming it's all true. (and yes, I do know the little joke about when a person assumes something-makes an ASS out of U and ME!) Well, tonight's nightly voyage about my facebook's storied history has alerted me that the actual date of my actual transition is a whole lot sooner than

What to do on a chilly Saturday in late March....not much. When your options are between seeing some grease monkeys attempting to improve a 1969 Dodge Challenger, seeing Sherri Shepard hosting an updated version of The Newlywed Game, or watching a bunch of cats on Animal Planet, the choices of being slumped over are endless. Remember, I don't have the pleasure of having that many friends to hang around with. Not even my church friends, who are mainly white & near middle-aged, gives me a ring just to say "hello". It always sucks. The weekends are when my cell phone is the most silent, because nobody calls me. with the exception of those "ghost callers" that I constantly get weekly. What are ghost callers, you ask? Well, when you get calls from phone numbers you don't recognize and are basically silent when you pick up the phone, let alone the little 'click' of the hang-ups. The only thing that gets wasted are the minutes on my damn cell phone! 

I was going to post a current pic of myself on this blog. Seems that I haven't been as photogenic as first thought. (searching through newer pics.) OK, this is from February: Winter was still a bitch in my area, and I once again whined my ass off about when am I ever going to drive again. Thankfully, this blog is only a step in the right direction. Not only has this made me cope on what I can and can't change about my past and look forward to the future. (whoops! time to make some coffee. well, expresso, actually.) You know I received a call from one of those talent agencies expressing my interest to be in advertising? I am well aware that society is slowly becoming more accepting to transpeople, as long as it doesn't interfere with how and where we relieve ourselves. Our plumbing is nobody's goddamn business but our own!  I have been seeing too much shit about the LGBT way of life from the conservative religious side of politics. Do they ACTUALLY KNOW someone th

well,well, well. I just posted a video of me singing in church Sunday afternoon, and a college friend of mine has told me that I sing no different than I did in college. Should I take that as a compliment or an insult? All I'm saying is that for this time around, I sung 'Lift Ev'ry Voice" in a tenor octave, not in a baritone sound like the previous times singing this. i know my voice is NOT monotone, and I DO know how to sing pretty well-just knowing you'll never hear my ass on one of those reality game shows! One moment you'll be the "it" person on TV, next thing you know you were last seen as a washed-up reality star on MTV, VH-1 or something like that. Sheesh! So this is the third blog I've done in the past week. I can't say that my fans (if I have them) read this with their morning coffee. There's this flock of ducks in the stream next to this motel where i'm staying, and they've been awful hungry in the last weeks of winter

Enjoy this video from my church 2.22.15!

it has been nearly a month since i last posted a blog. so i thought it was time to mention what's been going on. the battle for having a new smile is approaching a climax. my upper teeth have all been extracted, leaving only the gums to eat with. don't worry, i've learned to adapt a way to chew with only my lower chompers. in a few weeks they should be ready for me to try them on for sizing & biting. that way, you'll see me smiling with teeth instead of just a grin. it shall be worth the wait! I had been thinking briefly about posting the new pics to become one of the world's first plus-sized transwoman model. so my ass is damn-near middle-age. that doesn't mean i can't look cute in these pictures! in other news, well, i'm still stuck in this motel room, wondering how am i going to save up some dough to buy another ride. lord knows i need a car to get around this town. just so damn depressed at times riding in someone else's car instead of m

since the service of my friend judy last weekend was still fresh in my head, i forgot to mention the other news that has been going on with me. as of right now, i am doing something that has been in need of work. this week, i made myself a promise and begun having my teeth extracted in order for having a new set of dentures. Was it going to hurt? hell, yeah! but i deserved getting these novocaine shots in my gums in order to have the teeth pulled. i let them go to waste and never took great care of them. one day in 1997 i bit down hard on a toothpick and chipped a tooth. this eventually started a chain reaction that led to what i am doing now. i had a job back then where i did have dental benefits, but didn't take full advantage. made an appointment, blew it off. drank a lot of soda, which didn't help the process of good teeth, either. rarely brushed them,too. when i posed for a portrait more than 10 years ago, i could clearly see the fault in my teeth. doing those youtube

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Folks, if you’ve been reading what’s been on my mind, you’d know that I have an elder sister back home who, after discovering my “true identity” over a decade ago, called me an “embarrassment to the family”. We’ve not spoken since she nearly pushed me down a flight of stairs arguing over this. Well, what I am about to write here is my “letter” coming out to the big sister, one of the main antagonists of my life…..so here it goes. Dear Charlotte, Hey, it’s your baby brother here. How are you doing these days? I noticed the picture of you and (my other sister) Annette in your younger years. How nice. It’s been nearly 13 years since we last actually spoke to one another, and it wasn’t a pleasant one indeed. You called me an embarrassment to the family (your actual words) after (her son, my nephew) Jovan told you about his brief stay with me in Illinois. One day while I was at work, my roommate show him a videotape footage of me performing in full attire-makeup, heels, the works-