Spare me the Damn Flowers

it has been nearly a month since i last posted a blog. so i thought it was time to mention what's been going on. the battle for having a new smile is approaching a climax. my upper teeth have all been extracted, leaving only the gums to eat with. don't worry, i've learned to adapt a way to chew with only my lower chompers. in a few weeks they should be ready for me to try them on for sizing & biting. that way, you'll see me smiling with teeth instead of just a grin. it shall be worth the wait! I had been thinking briefly about posting the new pics to become one of the world's first plus-sized transwoman model. so my ass is damn-near middle-age. that doesn't mean i can't look cute in these pictures!

in other news, well, i'm still stuck in this motel room, wondering how am i going to save up some dough to buy another ride. lord knows i need a car to get around this town. just so damn depressed at times riding in someone else's car instead of my own. and my ass is still looking for reasonable work to help this damn travel business. i've noticed two local groups that i could use to help my biz grow, but there just happen to have a cost to it. SHIT!! same for all of these people who keep calling me about helping me grow my business for almost $100/month. do i look like i can afford $100/month? hell, i'd barely have a social life if it wasn't for being involved in a LGBT-friendly church. they've helped me in the past, but the rest would be up to me. 

this fuckin' winter's worse than last year. damn groundhog is apparently wanted for screwing up the east coast with all that snow. cabin fever's a bitch to the extreme. and there's nothing much i can currently do about it. our old apartment at least had more warmth to it than this place. ah, and the cats. they always were nice to cuddle up to during the winter months. four goddamn years have passed since i lived in an apartment. the same amount of time has passed since i last had my own wheels. at times i think God really loves to see my life so fucked up. when is the light in this tunnel ever going to show up?

after getting my new teeth, i plan to get my eyes checked, as well as maybe asking a doctor to help me get started on a weight-loss schedule, or something like that. just like me needing dough to badly obtain a set of wheels, losing weight has equally been a priority of mine for more than 25 years. Might as well go see a doctor to do this right. I sure as hell don't want to keel over due to a weight issue or some shit like that. i'm no longer that young anymore so taking care of my life becomes more urgent.

it's only late february, and i know there's still plenty of 2015 left to make a change for the better. forgive me, but i've been such a damn skeptic over the years I need to see it to believe it. i am a realist. don't like it, fuck it. so damn much time wasting my days away only dreaming about what i want to do, but waking up to see i was still stuck in hell-like situation i may never be free of.