A "Trans"-tastic Role Model?

As a transitioning woman of color, I know that my story will have a host of journeys to achieve total womanhood. Last night I got to watch a DVD movie I hadn't seen in years.  Or rather, I lost interest in watching it after so many times.  The 2006 documentary, known simply as Transtasia, featured a host of transwomen from around the world competing in the inaugural World's Most Beautiful Transsexual Pageant in Las Vegas for a spot in an all-TG show on The Strip. There were plenty of backstage scenes of them getting their makeup touched up, putting on or taking off their outfits (depending on the category), plus an occasional appearance of something that will always be a friend to performers everywhere....a roll of DUCT TAPE!! Along side the ever-present show-casing glamour of Sin City, six of those competitors got to do an up-close interview of their lives, each as interesting as the next. Would YOU consider them a role model? How could their comments help today's TG community? It's not always what you think, but what you have inside that counts for all of us.

I could go on and on about the individual characteristics of the six people featured in the movie, but if you have seen it, great. That may save me time to relate this toward my path toward womanhood. Every transperson will know what gender they will feel their most comfortable at any given point in their lifetime. The selected six have obviously knew they were women while they still attended high school, being the chosen target by the ultra-masculine boys. Then came the name-calling and bullying, which is very much still in our schools today. Some of those folks do not report this matter to the teacher or principal, who may have no idea on what advice to give them or shrug it off like rain water on their backs. This is where they wind up attempting suicide. Some have succeeded, leaving many students that knew that student the same repeated question;"Why?" Next thing you know,it makes national news, appears on social media, those culprits that may have originated the assault could get themselves in trouble with the law and graduate with an unerasable mark on there so-called permanent record. But what if this happened in a part of the country where there was no LGBT youth center or no high school counselor that had previous experience working with LGBTs? Something has got to be accomplished.  There are plenty of LGBT centers for the younger generations nationwide so they can get some help vs bullying, needing a friend to talk to in their darkest moments, how to confront their families about coming out as LGBT and the aftermath. Maybe some of today's LGBT youth can teach me a thing or two. 

What is an appropriate age to make that announcement about your coming out/transitioning to your friends, family or co-workers?  I knew someone who started transitioning from male to female at age 58! I have even been to a few gay bars in the past with female impersonators-many have already transitioned from male to female by their early to mid 20's. OK,that might be suitable for those who ALREADY know they want to become 'fish' (female term). Not every transwoman has the desire to walk the runway in stiletto heels and lip-sync tunes from Hello Dolly. I did a few shows about a decade ago to show off who I am...and make a few dollars for gas. Any performer knows how expensive it can get day in, day out doing those kind of shows with all the glam of a Vegas-style show with synchronized dancers behind you. This definitely wasn't for me. Even though I may know of a couple of plus-sized performers, I am NOT like them. I have come a long way from that evening back in Milwaukee after discovering myself. Could you respect that and NOT give a shit what's between my legs? You could ask me why did I wait 16 long years to finally live as the person I want to be recognized as such? If only you knew. I couldn't just tell my family that I wanted to transition right then and there. A major reason for elder TG's was they had more to lose, such as a family, job, respect. One reason some LGBT youth commit suicide is because of having their family turn their backs on him or her, never to speak to them again. Janet Mock said in her book that her dad almost didn't want his then- effeminate son to follow in his footsteps. He did have young Janet's bushy Hawaiian hair trimmed to a more masculine look.  I was forced to leave a C.O.G.I.C.-affiliated church that I attended in 1998 due to this. You have to get prepared for the backlash from those people that don't understand you.  Discovered this firsthand. It's obvious. I got canned from delivering at a mom-&-pop pizza shack because some of those customers didn't like my painted nails and said a few things I haven't heard before. This was in 2003, by the way. These are all mentioned in my old blogs (look them up!).  

One of the people in Transtasia just happens to be married. Since the DVD came out 7 years ago, they may or may not still be together. Maria is also Latina, and she has worked with an HIV/AIDS workshop in Los Angeles. Is she not a TG role model? I believe she is. Those TG folks who gets disowned by their parents will wind up doing what's known as the oldest profession in the book just to make a few dollars and keep a roof over his/her head.  Maria, who once worked the streets herself prior to settling down & getting hitched, returns there to help get those same folks off the street. I don't know what that would be like if yours truly was on their shoes. Remember, to the outside world, people will believe that TG's are nothing more than sex-crazed objects that are regularly shown on lame-ass talk shows. You and I know this isn't true. There used to be an area near downtown here where prostitutes normally hung out, trying to get a buck the hard way. How degrading.  Local police have thankfully stopped that. She also mentioned that her hubby wanted to marry her because she is...A PERSON. That's all she wanted to hear. I can't say that I will ever get married...as of right now, I am very much single....but I have had those dreams about marriage. Back then though, I had dreamed of me being the groom! Seeing myself one day wearing an all-white gown while hearing Here Comes the Bride as I walk down the aisle. It could happen, you know!

My church friend Judy-a retired English teacher-told me recently that I may have a blogging niche as a TG group counselor/ columnist. I don't know what to say about that. My columns can be formatted the way G.W. Bush screwed up New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina. Alas, I do get occasional help from several friends who transitioned longer before I even considered it: Monica Roberts, creator of the TransGriot blog page from Houston, TX; Pamela Hayes, author, who did send me my own copy of Janet Mock's Redefining Realness..., central Virginia; and Kenia Brittaney Armstrong, my role model, of Danbury, CT. These women do chat with me frequently, and they do encourage me as I strive toward womanhood, and my own realness.