Making Peace with Mom

Today was the day I had been wondering about how well I would sing Oh Happy Day on the anniversary of my mother's passing 34 years ago. When I was first told about the Sunday I was going to sing it, I told Janel,my music director, not to be surprised if I wore black that day. Of course, I explained why that day was so important to me. Janel understood where I was coming from. My friend Judy told me that this wasn't a coincidence. Maybe she knew a day like this was going to surface one day in my life.

I got up this morning at the usual time, around 7:00am. Yes, I knew today was the day that I got the chance to sing in front of the congregation for the third time since joining the church a year ago. So I had planned to rehearse the high notes near the song's conclusion using the downloaded music on my laptop. I'm not a show-off, but since today was also our post-Service Thanksgiving Dinner, I tried to look a bit decent. I did my normal duties of shaving,showering and washing my hair before getting dressed. Then I used my reliable hotcomb to straighten my hair a little. It gets messed up once I get into my friends car that has a low overhead (OUCH!). Think of a person my size getting into either a Toyota Prius or any car from Honda or Volkswagen. You get the idea. 

The weather has gotten quite frosty this weekend, so dressing warmly was a key today. I decided at the last minute to splash on a little foundation on my face with some drawn-in eyebrows and eyeliner. If you noticed it, thank you, Sherlock Holmes! But my church knows I do this already at times to express my femininity. Time to watch some Melissa Harris-Perry on msnbc until my ride shows up. 

I don't know why I stayed up well past 3:00 am watching The Blues Brothers. It's one of my all-time favorite flicks, yet I've seen it as many times as I have watched most Bond flicks. Why was I thinking that Hollywood may make a reboot of that movie, who knows? Psycho was remade, and everybody hated it. Enough with all the rebooted movie franchises already!! How many times can you polish a turd?

Getting off track here. Made it to church. The choir did go over that song once more, this time with yours truly on the mic. If you saw me this morning, you'd know how solemn I was. Never mind about the Thanksgiving food after the service. Had some slight technical problems with the sound of the choir with my singing voice. All worked out okay. First time around went well, though i keep rushing the ending a bit. Janel did like the finished result. I was glad that I got to sing that song just before my pastor gave the sermon. Not that I was nervous, I just was anxious of getting this out of the way. No butterflies, just wondering what to say before I start singing. 

Service starts on time. The congregation reads off the program like clockwork. Guest pianist does Caprio Op. 116, No. 7  by Johannes Brahams. Done. Then the Call to Worship. Done. Choir does first rehearsed song, Give Thanks with a Greatful Heart. Done. Prayer of confession. Completed. Assurance of Pardon with Response...Done. Then we share the peace with everyone in the congregation, long-time members, newcomers, visitors,etc. It was time to go do my solo on Oh Happy Day, with the choir doing the backup vocals.

I walk up to the front of the church and say "Good Morning" to everyone. I am at the mic, introducing the selection to the church...well, let the video below explain what happened.

This was unexpected from my part. I guess after 34 years asking for forgiveness, you have to show a little emotion like I did here. Then go out and sing your song in her memory. 

During the dinner after the service, I did get a lot of people thanking me on my performance. They all saw I tears from my eyes. I almost let it out again before I started eating my meal. Another of my friends from church, Phil, went up to me and said, "Your mother forgives you".  He's probably right. Then I realized I drank too much chocolate milk with my turkey/chicken dinner! I felt bloated the rest of the afternoon!