Unlucky Charms

I don't know what to say right now. No excitement here. Sure, it's Friday evening, and I'm watching my hometown Milwaukee Admirals play the Rockford IceHogs in AHL hockey via local satellite. Whoopty-shit. The annual recurring sound of thousands of basketballs bouncing on hard courts across the nation. Tournament time in high school & college, folks. Let the Madness commence! Yeah, I may have a favorite or two in the NCAA brackets. Why should I brag about it here? 

So, since my last blog one month ago, my Bucks still have the worst record in the NBA (right now) at 13-52. The Philadelphia 76ers must want that Number 1 pick for themselves. They just lost their 19th straight tonight vs. the Indiana Pacers. Yet the Bucks own that pick, for now. I am still hoping and praying for better things to come my way. The change in the weather might be the only thing going right now. We've had a really screwed-up winter, with a host of sub-zero wind chilled-days and a mountain of snow that should've been instantly shipped to Sochi, Russia for the Winter Olympics. They had 63-degree days by the Black Sea and WE Americans were the ones the froze our asses off? Even Southern California got to suffer. Mother Nature didn't get anything for Christmas, I can tell you.  Not even a little mistletoe. She spread her wrath on all of us!  

I did get something I wanted to get: a copy of Janet Mock's book, Redefining Realness. Special thanks to my friend Pamela for sending me a copy. (She like reading some of my blogs to pass the time.) Oh, good. The Admirals beat the 'Hogs 6-5 in a shootout. I did take a photo of this momentous occasion. Point is, I was originally going to trade in my laptop for a newer model. You should be aware that Microsoft is eliminating service for Windows XP around April 8. They have been bugging all XP users to upgrade to Windows 8. I have read that there are a lot of unhappy folks that don't want to use 8. explaining they hate how to use it for countless reasons. I did some research, and discovered Windows 7 is a more popular choice.  So, I am just going to upgrade this trusty, yet somewhat vulnerable laptop to W7. What makes this ironic? I had just ordered a 4GB flash drive to copy all of the shit included on here, including a few videos of me singing in church! I also erased over 30 video blogs for no reason! They are all on YouTube, somewhere. I guess I got tired of seeing myself yak about anything for 20 minutes. 

Earlier tonight, I was watching some TV and making myself some pork chops that were covered with Shake 'n Bake. I took a bite--something came off. It was a tooth! Damn! Another reason to hate how I've been taking care of myself since relocating to the Rockford area in 1999. When you occasionally watch one of my YouTube video blogs, I can imagine how many people notice that I don't have a full set of teeth. Tell me something I don't already know!! I bit down on a toothpick back in 1997, and it all started there. 

During those years I have gained a substantial amount of weight, allowed my front teeth to basically rot,  gotten hired and fired from a host of low-paying jobs, had my ride towed (twice), stolen, found and repossessed, and finally getting evicted from my apartment.  So what if I began to take hormones or letting my hair grow out, to me, it means nothing if I don't have the matter to back it up.  You already know about me letting that amount of that traffic ticket that I got in 2010 balloon three times the original amount; and those one-way trips to the Ogle County Jail. (I am paying it off...REALLY! Right now, I am at least over halfway paying it off. It should be paid in full come August or September.) 

What I am saying it this: I am not taking care of business with my life.  I have become the person I had feared I would become: a 40-something, out-of work, plus-sized, unhappy, unmotivated P.O.S. Did I forget to mention my rent at this motel is going up $100?  This keeps adding up that moving here from Milwaukee in 1999 was a bad idea.  Sure, why don't I move back home? I'd know where everything is, my family is nearby, I could get hired faster...What about the point where I want to 'spread my wings'? Do my own thing under my own roof? Besides, it's not that my dad's home is no longer part of the family. Where would I live? In July of '99, I left the nest for good, though I returned three years later for something different....and regretted it!

Do not think I was jealous because other folks in my family had gotten hitched, starting decent careers and families while yours truly was basically stuck living in my dad's house, wondering what the hell do I do to have my own life? Never mind about the 'apple doesn't fall far from the tree' bullshit. This is nothing to do about me expressing myself, which I have done successfully here. I've just procrastinated in so damn many ways over the years. Why waste a night's sleep about what could've happened had I followed my pursuit of happiness? And they say God put us here on Earth for a reason...I would do almost anything to get all of these years (and my teeth) back. Then again, relive my high school and college years for a better way to enjoy my current life.