Am I Nervous or Just Not Seeing Clearly?

So, Rockford Pride Fest '13 is this coming weekend. Yay! It'll be at a new location, unlike last year. Vasa Park, in the southeastern part of town near I-39, is supposedly a better-looking park with its own kitchen. Hmm. And Rockford Pride will be able to cash in on its concessions, too. So much for shelling out $20,000 to use the empty Davis Park and not getting a taste of the profits.That's what reportedly made the committee change locations for this year's gala. Here's to hoping many more Pride Fests in the future years. 

Today, I have (sorta) self-diagnosed myself as having gender identity disorder (GID). So I've been regularly wearing foundation & powder plus maybe some eyeshadow and lip gloss to church. Yesterday while doing some grocery shopping, three people all referred to me as "Miss" or "Ma'am". This was while I still had a less-noticeable beard. I get that fact that it's either the poofness of my hair ( which has sacrificed a badly-needed dye job) or my constantly painted fingernails that keeps having people second guess my gender.Even as I type this onto this blog, this plus-sized dress that I like to wear, which is about as sturdy as one-ply toilet paper, shows my bust in a more feminine shape. My hair would be shoulder-length. Imagine the possibilities had I not stopped taking hormones. That would've made the choice to go be Kayleah on a full-time MUCH easier for me. Yes,i do know how much making a drastic change can cost me down the road. Family. Career. Friends.

Mariah says that whenever I'm dressed as Kayleah I'm more of an open person to everybody. With my hair and makeup done right, it's like I have become an eye- magnet for everyone to see and get to know. Remember Jim Carrey's role in the 1994 film The Mask? His green-faced alter ego was the high-octaned, party machine that went until 4am. When he took the mask off, he was the everyday Stanley Ipkiss, a low-level bank worker with basically no life. Kinda like me on some days when I'm not wearing any makeup and my hair looks like I've been on a roller coaster bender. She says I'm not the same when I'm not dressed. You've seen me with whiskers thick enough to cut glass! Then again, Mariah's been having her own damn issues for nearly 10 years now, so she's not even 100% honest about her own self, let alone her own TG matters. She knows she gets jealous whenever I'm dressed. I look MUCH better. I can grow my fingernails to the point it gets hard to type. What can she say? Nothing!

I had been doing some videos the last few weeks on YouTube sharing my views to the world. By the looks of it, there hasn't been as much of a following. Oh well. I must have done about 40 videos since joining the revolution in 2010. If you have been watching my channel on a regular basis, thankx. Like it's purpose, I have a lot of opinions to share with everyone. However, I haven't had the extreme luxury of friends, so my following isn't that large. Unless I do something with makeup, hair or anything that catches people's eyes. 

I will record some moments of Rockford Pride Fest for the YouTube posse. Then I will freely let my fingers do the walking & taking next week.