Time Machine
I know I haven't did a blog for a while, so forgive me on that. So this was supposed to be some kind of celebration commemorating 15 years since coming out as a transgendered person. Please. I'm not expecting any awards for this momentous occasion anytime soon. The only thing I did was re-post this YouTube video I did earlier this year to basically explain myself. If you have seen my channel there, the video is just below my picture, which was taken last year. The scrambled eggs with brown sugar video is proudly on the cover. One person actually like my eyes. I'm touched, even though I haven't had my teeth worked on in years. I did cheat a little bit, though-the musical background was my church choir rehearsing a song. They downloaded the song onto my email and just loaded it onto my computer. Here's hoping I don't get sued for that! It's up to 75 views as I type this, meaning there really isn't that many folks that either give a damn about me explaining myself or I just wasted an hour of life for nothing.Would you believe my most-watched recent video is my 20-minute speech on why it's okay to get angry with God? Scratch that comment. My most watched video is one I did back in 2010, An Evening at The Office & Getting Older, with 245 views. Somebody's watching, though not leaving me a comment. I can also say several things on that: Little did I know that I'd get evicted three months later and shack up in a dingy motel room for over a year, forced to sell my van due to a blown head gasket, and have several bouts with the local 5-0 over this damn ticket from Ogle County. Never mind about using an older webcam, either. Even today I sometimes hate how I sound or look on video. Go figure.
Now, I'm no professional makeup artist, but I do spend a few minutes in the mirror, regardless or not I'm painted. Maybe there is some inner beauty that I haven't discovered yet.I am kinda cute when made up. I try to see it the same way with no makeup on, too. Sometimes it's cool to look back at a few things that keeps a warm fire in your heart. I gotta remind myself, however, not to stay in the past. It's not on occasion that somebody listens to me yak for 10-20 minutes. I don't think it would make that much difference if I did makeup tutorials...which a lot of people do on YouTube. I'm just me. And i have a new way of expressing myself, and I don't care about who has any negative things to say on this. They know who they are.
You might be asking why I haven't dressed up in recent weeks. The financial matters that have burdened me still hasn't let up. Not to say I haven't tried to get an income to help my business and eventually move back into an apartment. Sheesh! I mentioned that the urge to dress comes and goes. I do miss dressing up during the winter months, which is so depressing. I had a more feminine wardrobe at my old apartment. All those clothes I could've used. Probably either at Goodwill, Salvation Army or just flat out trash now. I'll have to restock my attire. Since we're going to eventually get into the warmer days, they would've come in nicely, since I feel I might go full-time one day. Luckily, I do have something to throw on for Rockford Pride Fest in June. Think it still fits. Shoes will be another issue. The makeup is the one thing that I'm still glad I have. Unlike Mariah, who uses it everyday to go nowhere. Alas, the midnight sky is finally giving way to the daylight. When May hits it'll feel like 8:30am when it's only 5:00!! Get me ready for the summer!!
Now, I'm no professional makeup artist, but I do spend a few minutes in the mirror, regardless or not I'm painted. Maybe there is some inner beauty that I haven't discovered yet.I am kinda cute when made up. I try to see it the same way with no makeup on, too. Sometimes it's cool to look back at a few things that keeps a warm fire in your heart. I gotta remind myself, however, not to stay in the past. It's not on occasion that somebody listens to me yak for 10-20 minutes. I don't think it would make that much difference if I did makeup tutorials...which a lot of people do on YouTube. I'm just me. And i have a new way of expressing myself, and I don't care about who has any negative things to say on this. They know who they are.
You might be asking why I haven't dressed up in recent weeks. The financial matters that have burdened me still hasn't let up. Not to say I haven't tried to get an income to help my business and eventually move back into an apartment. Sheesh! I mentioned that the urge to dress comes and goes. I do miss dressing up during the winter months, which is so depressing. I had a more feminine wardrobe at my old apartment. All those clothes I could've used. Probably either at Goodwill, Salvation Army or just flat out trash now. I'll have to restock my attire. Since we're going to eventually get into the warmer days, they would've come in nicely, since I feel I might go full-time one day. Luckily, I do have something to throw on for Rockford Pride Fest in June. Think it still fits. Shoes will be another issue. The makeup is the one thing that I'm still glad I have. Unlike Mariah, who uses it everyday to go nowhere. Alas, the midnight sky is finally giving way to the daylight. When May hits it'll feel like 8:30am when it's only 5:00!! Get me ready for the summer!!
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