Jinxed, are you, Kayleah?

Let me tell you something about myself. It seems since as far back as I can remember, I feel like I am a jinx. As a self-described sports nut, if I do or don't do something, bad luck usually follows. There is this blues song I remember, Born Under a Bad Sign, that basically can explain the orgins of why some things just don't go well with me. Homer Simpson did a cover of that song, too, but he's more popular than he actually thinks. 

I was all ready to attend church this morning, when I look at my soon-to-be-replaced cell phone and received a text saying that one of my friends that gives me a ride to church had gotten sick, making him unable to pick me up. Another friend that occasionally does this was out of town for the Thanksgiving weekend. This is the equivalent to having a monkey wrench thrown at will into my daily agenda, whatever that is. So much for wearing a little makeup today. Since this is the first time since joining my church in the last spring that I have been absent for Sunday service, I take that to heart! And normally not-so-good things happen for, say, a sports team that I follow or the week ahead. It's almost like a ritual that mustn't be tampered with by any means. I love my church, Spring Creek UCC, and I know some things (job, anniversary, vacation, etc.) get in the way of attending a service on a regular basis. But you have to look at this situation from my standpoint. Going to church is my "freedom" from being constantly stuck with my seldomly-challenged roommate. I don't have a social life outside of church. Yeah, having a job and a set of wheels wouldn't hurt that personna. Most days I am on my laptop surfing to see who's posting what on facebook, checking my email messages, working on my online business website and maybe watch a movie on Crackle...if it's something I haven't seen in a while. 

As you are reading this, it can be obvious that I am a definite introverted individual who at 42 is on a never-ending quest for inner happiness. I can't even watch sports on TV. At times I watch it, a team that I may root for gives up a score that might cost them the game or something that I'll get steamed over until they play again. I can be frustrated for being out of work since summer 2011. Just when I apply to something I know I can do, BOOM!-I never hear from them again. And this makes me wonder why I moved here in 1999? Where's that shotgun? The holidays are almost here, and I have been so used to being alone. Very depressing. Wondering why my depression hasn't gotten any worse this time of year. 

Does God like me? I'm getting tired of watching Forrest Gump again...