I AM UNERASABLE (Part 3)

With trans people like me under pressure of erasure thanks to ongoing regulations with the ever-so-Nazi-like Pumpkin Head Administration, this year's Black Trans Advocacy Coalition (BTAC) was as much of a rallying cry as ever. Maybe thanks to Texas' own trans issues of their own, including the potential threat for all trans people living in the Lone Star State to be forced to de-transition,the convention's attendance was smaller than the year before, for multiple reasons. Nevertheless, BTAC must go on, despite all the negative calamities, heeding this year's slogan: "Redefining Our Resilience--I Am UnErasable". 

There were newer faces this time around, while not seeing the familiar ones that I'd seen in past BTACs. My hotel room only had me there the entire week, wondering if a late attendee was going to arrive. No soap here. Matter of fact, I had packed so quickly I Door Dashed some items to the hotel from the nearest Walmart. Yes, I know what you're thinking. I had all that time heading to the main hotel the day before, passing the nearest Walmart multiple times and not even stopping for a Whataburger! So, I forced myself to order some stuff online: Toothpaste. Toothbrush. Noxema. And especially, Dark & Lovely Hair Dye. I said I wasn't letting my gray hairs show my age. Oh, in a major brand name hotel, the cable is supposed to be better, with more channels, right? Please! Basic channel bullshit, with the exception of HBO. Having this room to myself did give me some freedom to walk around in the buff following a shower and some partial entertainment from classic Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes on YouTube. It did, as throughout this trip, kept me feeling as lonely as driving cross-country going solo. 

I know I could've attended a majority of lectures to prepare myself for whatever turmoils I could face back in Rockford. I know my current home hasn't had any anti-trans confrontations...at least, publicly. However, I know that I can protect myself in a lot of ways. A leader/activist, I am not. There's always time to improve what kind of person I can become, even at my age. I also knew I definitely couldn't be such an introvert on my escapade some 800 miles from home. The folks at BTAC offered activities outside the seminars via the Whova app. This time, I took advantage of being out and about. 

During this week of trans-improvement, my friend, sister and fellow native Milwaukeean Elle Halo was in part of the creator of the EmpowerHer Connection's three-day project, A Gumbo of Women, designed to provide Black Transwomen with a space to connect, heal, and empower themselves. Along with Ms. Halo, included in the overseeing in this seminar was Syria Sinclaire, a 20+ year ballroom legend and entertainer in the Baton Rouge, LA LGBTQ+ community, and Jennifer Love Williams, an ex-incarcerated Black woman with 30+years of Trans experience and a now-former Miss Gay New Jersey winner. Talk about some serious trans heavy-hitters here. And they've come to help my fellow sistas make sure we know who we are!

We each got some goodies like bath bombs (soap). seat cushions and blankets, stuff that clunks up anyone's suitcase. More importantly, there were class activities among us, like holding up yarn to create a makeshift web of sisters of different ages in the room as a family. Each sister introduced themselves and stated where they were from, and some came a longer way than just a simple two-hour flight. One came from the Boston area, some others came from Maryland and Alabama, respectively; even Philadelphia & Pittsburgh got some representation in the room. As regularly, there has been a good turnout from the Memphis girls and those from back home in the MKE, where girls like Elle and myself originally called home. 

Speaking of Elle, she created a workbook for all of us to complete. It wasn't an assignment, per se, but it helped to discover our identities better. Halfway in this workbook is a page where we got to acknowledge and honor the ancestral lands of the Caddo, Wichita and Comanche tribes of Duncanville,TX and its ongoing connection of the indigenous people. Translated, the scriptures read, "If I do harm to you, I do harm to myself.....If I love and respect you, I love and respect myself". There was a lot of questionnaires throughout to be answered on our own free time. I wondered if I could answer these questions on the spot to no avail. Meanwhile, the invisible shell of expression that I creatively expressed shattering during my first BTAC in 2019 was slowly creeping back....