Countdown to BTAC2019...Will I Be Ready?
Is it time to get excited about BTAC2019? Well, yes. I mean, the conference is NEXT WEEK in Dallas. I’ve been mainly 80% packed as I type this blog. The luggage set I ordered last month really has come in handy. Since I paid for the 5-night hotel stay & registration, I got a tad nervous that I’d have to shell out more dough for the nighttime events. However, I had nothing to worry about there. My co-workers at the cab company that I work with are a little jealous of me. They shouldn’t be. I’ve been a reliable driver for over three years, and unlike some drivers, pays attention to my own shit. This vacation to BTAC could be the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me.
Last night, I spent some time chatting with my trans elder, Kenia, about what should I expect at the Black Trans Advocacy Conference (BTAC). Hey, it was dull last night driving, so chatting with her really does help time fly. She had told me about her experience at another trans convention in Prophetstown,MA, near Cape Cod. Let’s just say she had some racially unfair comments to say about it. As for my upcoming time at BTAC, Kenia told be to just be myself and enjoy it. I do plan to reprise my talent from last year’s Forest City Pageant there, albeit slightly different. When I mentioned about possibly pledging to a sorority, she cautioned me about what I’d want to and what they’d possibly make me into, which could wind up as two very different personas.
So I got to look at the full schedule of what seminars will take place there. Should I want to do some sightseeing during this may be a slight problem, but not much of one. I’ve seen there is a place where I can actually meditate without letting the issues of the world get to me. Now, about these buffets in the hotel area...my stomach is wondering how it will recover! So much self-doubt about what kind of person will I be when it’s over and I return behind the wheel back at home. This convention may be self-inspiring, but remember, I get extremely moody at some given times and vehemently pessimistic.
Kenia also told me that this convention will be “the best time I’ll ever have”. It’s not like I’m spending next week getting a suntan in the Caribbean, for I’m already caramel-skinned and lovely! This is far from the unwanted vacation I had six years ago. You recall that traffic ticket I procrastinated in paying it off? I wound up spending the rest of June incarcerated, missing the annual Chicago Pride Parade. Me, in an orange jump suit with 15 other folks sleeping on a metal bed and a flimsy excuse for a mattress. UGH! Ok, bad memories gone. Besides, I previously mentioned about me possibly finding someone to fall in love with at BTAC. YEAH RIGHT!! I’ll believe it when it really does happen!
The main question for me will be this: Am I going to be the same Kayleah after BTAC? Sure, they brag about how much this event is a positive, life-changing event that can possibly rejuvenate the soul and be a better role model. It sounds just like a campaign promise that's been used by almost every politician in history, Drumpf included. How can I feel the same driving a cab here in Rockford after this? I do get a lot of folks bragging about leaving Rockford for a better future. Some do, others are still trying. I also get an even share of folks coming to Rockford from other places, such as Las Vegas, Detroit, and obviously, Chicago. Blame it on culture shock. I want to be convinced that BTAC will change my way of thinking, yet my pessimism always brings the situation in doubt.
The blog you're reading now will probably be the final one I'll do prior to leaving for Dallas this coming Monday. Getting my nails done is a must, so I'm sacrificing a few hours of sleep before going to work to get 'em done. Just purchased my bus ticket to Chicago to catch my train last night, and on Easter Sunday I'll basically conclude what I'll pack. Like I'm doing anything on Easter, aside from nothing! I may decide by BTAC's finale on how to include all of this into my autobiography, Cocoon2Butterfly. Somehow in life, everyone needs a good swift kick in the ass to remind yourself of all the things you still prowess before it's gone. I'll take a stiff double Henessey instead.
Last night, I spent some time chatting with my trans elder, Kenia, about what should I expect at the Black Trans Advocacy Conference (BTAC). Hey, it was dull last night driving, so chatting with her really does help time fly. She had told me about her experience at another trans convention in Prophetstown,MA, near Cape Cod. Let’s just say she had some racially unfair comments to say about it. As for my upcoming time at BTAC, Kenia told be to just be myself and enjoy it. I do plan to reprise my talent from last year’s Forest City Pageant there, albeit slightly different. When I mentioned about possibly pledging to a sorority, she cautioned me about what I’d want to and what they’d possibly make me into, which could wind up as two very different personas.
So I got to look at the full schedule of what seminars will take place there. Should I want to do some sightseeing during this may be a slight problem, but not much of one. I’ve seen there is a place where I can actually meditate without letting the issues of the world get to me. Now, about these buffets in the hotel area...my stomach is wondering how it will recover! So much self-doubt about what kind of person will I be when it’s over and I return behind the wheel back at home. This convention may be self-inspiring, but remember, I get extremely moody at some given times and vehemently pessimistic.
Kenia also told me that this convention will be “the best time I’ll ever have”. It’s not like I’m spending next week getting a suntan in the Caribbean, for I’m already caramel-skinned and lovely! This is far from the unwanted vacation I had six years ago. You recall that traffic ticket I procrastinated in paying it off? I wound up spending the rest of June incarcerated, missing the annual Chicago Pride Parade. Me, in an orange jump suit with 15 other folks sleeping on a metal bed and a flimsy excuse for a mattress. UGH! Ok, bad memories gone. Besides, I previously mentioned about me possibly finding someone to fall in love with at BTAC. YEAH RIGHT!! I’ll believe it when it really does happen!
The main question for me will be this: Am I going to be the same Kayleah after BTAC? Sure, they brag about how much this event is a positive, life-changing event that can possibly rejuvenate the soul and be a better role model. It sounds just like a campaign promise that's been used by almost every politician in history, Drumpf included. How can I feel the same driving a cab here in Rockford after this? I do get a lot of folks bragging about leaving Rockford for a better future. Some do, others are still trying. I also get an even share of folks coming to Rockford from other places, such as Las Vegas, Detroit, and obviously, Chicago. Blame it on culture shock. I want to be convinced that BTAC will change my way of thinking, yet my pessimism always brings the situation in doubt.
The blog you're reading now will probably be the final one I'll do prior to leaving for Dallas this coming Monday. Getting my nails done is a must, so I'm sacrificing a few hours of sleep before going to work to get 'em done. Just purchased my bus ticket to Chicago to catch my train last night, and on Easter Sunday I'll basically conclude what I'll pack. Like I'm doing anything on Easter, aside from nothing! I may decide by BTAC's finale on how to include all of this into my autobiography, Cocoon2Butterfly. Somehow in life, everyone needs a good swift kick in the ass to remind yourself of all the things you still prowess before it's gone. I'll take a stiff double Henessey instead.
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